Derek Trucks

Derek Trucks. In concert. Tonight. Bliss.

Going to see Derek tear it up with his new outfit, the Tedeschi Trucks Band. Tedeschi as in Susan Tedeschi, his wife and fellow musician.

Derek Trucks is a blazing amazing guitar player, a wizard with a slide and the absolute cosmic master of the instrument. No one plays the slide guitar like Derek.

Nothing is sweeter than the few hours before a live show...

...except for the show itself, man. Except for the show itself.

graciasgraciasgracias

Here's how you do it

I've talked to a number of friends lately who are teetering on the brink of their dreams. It's like an outbreak or something. Everyone's looking to mutiny, make a jailbreak from the mundane. What does it take to make it happen, get through the confusion, stop feeling so awful? they ask.

It takes an unswerving commitment to dig into your heart and then follow what's there. No matter what.

Be fearless. You must not let your doubts and fears stop you. Money, time, security, grief, loneliness, your past: these are excuses. See them for what they are. Illusions. Trust me. They are just illusions to be blown away like smoke, no matter how big they seem. I KNOW this.

So you've been scared before. Bankrupt before. Hurt before. Someone stomped your heart. Someone trapped you, ignored you, beat you down. Broke you. You feel like you fucked up. You did fuck up. Me, too. So what? So what? Do it anyway.

How do you figure out what you want? Ask yourself: What brings me bliss?

Start moving in the direction of your dreams and trust me, you'll be supported. I KNOW this, too.

Who am I? A woman that will never stop. I want to keep traveling, tasting, exploring the world, people, adventures, all the range of emotions and senses. I make my own rules. I will have a home base next to the ocean but I will always be on the move somehow. I'm a writer and will always be. I'm going to go to massage school one day. I have so much to share and I will do it, blissfully and without reserve. I am ready - despite my fears! - to have a fiercely / gently passionate relationship with a fellow traveler who takes one look at me and can say,

WOW. I want some more of you. As much as possible. Starting right now. Been waiting for this all my life, baby.

Oh, yum.

I will follow this path even at the risk of death because it's the only way I can live.

Gracias

Today I feel an overwhelming gratitude to be alive, in this body.

How about you?

Crush and Ganesh

Look who I saw yesterday: Ganesh! My friend M told me that he has a big head, telling you to think big and go beyond your limitations. Also, he has big ears, telling you to listen and follow what you hear.

I have a crush. He's a beautiful artist. I saw him looking at me. And hopefully he saw me looking at him. I gave him my phone number.

I wonder where the story goes from here.

Om Gum Ganapatayei Namaha
Salutations to Ganesh, remover of obstacles

Beach

These are blanket flowers sprouting from the sand at the beach. I read up on them and they grow best in harsh conditions.

Kind of like me, I suppose. Which is why I was at the beach. To create a blissful condition and escape the harshness that's been dogging me.

Here's what I learned: when I feel depleted, depressed, and stressed, I must lay flat on the ground and absorb the rejuvenating power of the Earth. In this case, the sand right next to the ocean.

Showering with butterflies

I've moved back to the woods, where I shower with butterflies. (They are greedy with the soap). I fall asleep to the sound of banjo frogs and cicadas. And sometimes wake in the middle of the night to the wild noises of bard owls mating.

Being here in a beautiful space...surrounded by nature's inspiration...in a community of artists and mavericks...with a housemate who is artistic, conscious, and funny: all of it is one step closer to the vibe of my ocean home.

I'm also flirting more, connecting more, and just generally loving life more. All of this is sexy (take that, you horny owls!). To me and to others. I'm anticipating a date this week with a gorgeous, unconventional guy.

And writing. Of course. It's my first, my last, my everything. To quote the great master Barry White. It's who I am. End of story. Ha! So how am I doing in this arena? More and more freelance clients. Just submitted a short story and am finishing up another. Waiting oh so patiently as my book makes the rounds.

Longings

"If she satisfied her longings they would by definition not be longings anymore. By living out the things she wished, there would only be possible failure. She feared failure even more than continuing to harbor unsatisfied longings. So it seemed quite clear that the only courageous thing to do was act on her desires."

- Louise Erdrich, Tales of Burning Love

I adore Louise Erdrich. I re-read these words today and they gave me a delicious jolt.